Here, in this section, you will find some of my ramblings, some of my published and unpublished essays etc. If you like to enter my world and my mind, I invite you to sit back, relax and start reading... There will always be new material in this section. I hope that you will enjoy this journey through my essays. And as for my unedited texts, I urge you to be gentle with me, although I am open to any correction, please let me remind you that English is my fourth language among five in my vocabulary.
I must admit it isn't perfect. :)
regards,
Hera S. Bell
(March 21, 1999)
MEMOIRES FROM JAKARTA
May 1990
by Hera S. Bell
I sipped my morning coffee at the Grand Hyatt
As I watched Jakarta waking up.
The sun was rising on a bed of scarlet sky
When I heard a baby boy cry for his mother's hug
At a near by alley
Where the aroma of the human presence
Intensified all my senses.
Soon after,
The early morning summer breeze
Humbly left its place to a horrid heat
Which words are much limited to describe.
Only then I realized
I was truly where I thought I was...
I glanced at an old man
Offering his prayers to God,
Thanking the Lord for his modest bowl of rice,
While business was conducted at its usual Jakartan pace
In fancy offices, in tall impressive buildings.
Once again,
I saw many worlds and faces in one city.
Shared a cup of tea with the poor at a factory,
Dined out with the wealthy at Gala party.
Today,
On this fine May day,
I am returning back to Montreal,
Bringing back with me only memories
Which I will carry a life time
Within my soul...
Goodbye Jakarta...
Copyright 90 - 99 (All rights reserved)
A Letter to a friend,
Dear ******,
I got up this morning quite early. I guess there has been lots of things in my mind. I was feeling agitated a bit. It happens sometimes. My husband is still asleep like a baby in bed. I got your beautiful e-mail. It warmed my heart and did put a smile on my face. Your descriptive words are very vibrant as always.
In June there will be a book published by a Spanish publisher. 30 photographers from around the globe were invited to be a part of this photo art book on nudes. It will be called "Contemporary Nudes II"... I am among the 30... Sometimes I am awed to be in the same book with certain masters who's works I have admired for years. It will be only two years in May that I am into photography.
Let me describe to you the today's early morning sky to you. The sky was in revolution with itself. Its color was purple, in some areas I saw shades of pink which got mixed with blood red. Then out from all of this chaotic God's canvas, the bright sun peaked its face. Almost like a savior to its selfish warrior.
I sat down and witnessed all this. I thought of many things, but especially about the war in Kosovo. The killings, I almost heard the innocent orphans' cries on empty streets filled with ruins. All of a sudden I felt a bit selfish. Here I was admiring the wild colors of my early morning sun and anxious to see my new deck being built yet at Kosovo people were fighting with their lives. Does life make sense? I asked to myself... When will be the time that the human beings will learn to appreciate what they have before they loose it? Why do we only learn to appreciate things when we loose them?
Then I thought of the 2 teenagers killing 15 people, their school mates, at Denver... Why was there this type of unsatisfaction and violent anger among such young hearts?
At an early age I have discovered that our mind is an amazing tool to play with. People who discovered the magic of entering their partner's mind during passionate moments are very fortunate people. The body is mortal, yet the spirit lives on. Perhaps one day human beings will get the true meaning of life. Which is instead of only feeding our body, if we learned how to feed our spirit as well. Then, only then, the world might become what we call in the Bible "The Paradise"... Life is all about the evolution of each spiritual entity through its own journey. In a body or out of the body.
Like I said, love has many colors. Yet it will still be called love. The same goes for passion. Everyone needs both of these "must" elements in their mortal life. Some find it in a lover, some find it through their children, and some others might find them through other means. And the ones who pass a life-time searching for it are the people who will have difficulty to cope with life's ups and downs.
If I took away anyone's passion and love for their work, towards their kids or their lovers, I guarantee that tomorrow they would stop existing. Think about it a moment. How much as individual spirits do we tend to depend on the pure existence of some passion and love? And how come some people limit themselves to expand the boundaries of their love and passion towards humanity.
I feel at peace and happy now that I shared all this with you.
Have a wonderful day...
Love,
Hera
SILENT COMMUNICATIONS
"Speak to me please!"
She whispered
Through an eerie silence.
As he simply looked away with empty eyes.
Then she stood by the door's frame
And told him
"Goodbye my love.
Maybe you will miss me more when I'll be gone.
Then you might start listening to my story
Through these empty decaying walls
Where our dreams were built once."
Regards,
By Hera Bell March 10th. 2003
I will hunt you in your dreams like a hungry ghost from a lustful past.
Once upon a time I was your golden angel.
Today, I can only watch over you through the darkness of some stolen nights!
Can you feel me?
Do you see me?
At times when you can't sleep...
I am the shiver on your fair skin,
I am the fire in your sweetest dream.
I shall remain as yours,
Forever!
By Hera Bell (April 2002)
MIDNIGHT SERENADE
by Hera. S. Bell
(Dedicated to my husband)
I want to become the Cerano De Bergerac
Of your stolen dreams at midnight
While Snow White and others search for the perfect love.
I will try to recreate the magic of a hopeless romantic
And commemorate those like Hugo and Lamatine
Who once lived, and who still do in my heart...
I wish I could paint your face over a velvet canvas
Like Leonardo did,
So that you will be admired throughout centuries
When lovers will watch the night's sky
And see the twinkle in your green eyes
In far away stars...
If I could,
I would compose the perfect opera
Telling the tales of an unforgettable love
And to be remembered like Romeo and Juliette
Of our time...
But, never the less,
I confess,
I am just an ordinary girl
Hopelessly in love...
Copyright 93 - 99 (All rights reserved)
"In every man/woman there is a child. In every child there is an angel. Each man/woman who can find his/her own inner peace will also be able to bring out the angelic child hiding within himself/herself. When this happens, he/she will be able to offer himself/herself to his/her loved one. Only then he/she will receive pure and unconditional love. Who said that there can be no Heaven on Earth. Only the blind can't see."
by Hera S. Bell December 4th. 1995
I am listening to Handle as I am writing these words from my desk. It is so Royal and divine. I have always felt transported into an old era of my past karma when I listen to his music. My blood flows as the forbidden red wine would flow from a crystal glass submerging with ones human scent of pure inner ecstasy. Only then I feel the literature and music merge into one body creating the perfect moments of intimacy.
I long to feel you, touch you, smell you as I never did before.
Can you feel me, do you hear me?
Are you willing to rediscover the good old me?
Written by Hera S. Bell
Fall of 2001
What is Love?
I ask myself.
A four letter word
Important enough to put
A smile on a child's face,
Cause a heart beat in some young lovers' hearts,
Sprinkle some tears at parents' eyes during a wedding,
Remind us our first kiss at an anniversary night.
Love can be all of the above.
It is born between individuals.
It grows like a child.
Changes colors.
Love is walking together on a road
Towards the same direction.
By Hera S. Bell
July 2001
MY BLACK RUSSIAN, YOU AND ME
by Hera S. Bell
I drink my black Russian
Naked to my tongue
As once you stood, naked to my eyes.
My hand cups the glass
As once I cupped
Your face and hairy chest.
The liquid flows through my lips
As once you did,
Burning...
I drink slow,
Your face lingers.
Then,
I decide
I shall never drink again.
I close the door,
I let you go
With a simple
"Goodbye".
Copyright 1981 (published in Contemporary Poets Anthology)
BETTER THEN CHOCOLATE
MORE PASSIONATE THEN THE RED ROSES
by Hera Bell
As I sit down and look behind
I see the past 3 months flown by
Like the singular feather of a white angel
Blowing in between the naked branches of a winter land.
I can see that you mended again your wings,
And ready to take on your new journey
Towards a brand spanking future adventure
In some other lover's arms.
I'll be there,
Your old mate,
From a powerful past,
Watching you grow
Sometimes up close
Sometimes from a far away land.
Life is a box of chocolates
As Forest Gump said once
And he was so right.
I was one in a million
Maybe your favorite flavor of the past 3 months,
But I bet,
You will seldom forget
How I tasted
How you felt
And what I meant
To you,
My little one.
Happy Valentines.
(All rights reserved)
THE MEETING IN A DREAM
by Hera S. Bell
I enter a room where my chameleon soul rests.
Then, I see his silhouette resting against a thin purple line.
An image seen before my vision for the very first time
Is this a dream?
I ask to my humble inner self contrasting with my royal cocoon.
His response is quick, soft, yet somehow very compliant.
Penetrating my dark blue eyes, he replies:
"It has been such a long time since I was offered such pleasure
Please, let me be your subject for one single night."
Then, all things come to a stop!
The time becomes a toy between my fingers,
I torture his flesh and dominate his mind.
I start reading him, bit by bit, like an open book by turning the pages of his persona.
I capture his heart, and make the devilish exchange with mine.
I whisper to him:
It is only fair, after all I took something of yours,
Your innocence that is, and I give you now the wisdom,
Take it, fast, and offer it to your most loved one.
A game such as this can only be rewarding
When it is done with the total share and care."
This was not a simple "love" in our human terms,
It seemed as if I knew his entity from a previous life.
He was an extraordinary being that I have not yet met,
He became my good pen pal between the fading lines.
